Apparently, we can go home again. Well, at least I can. With my two kids in tow. It seems the only answer to my current dilemma----a dilemma with too many questions and not enough answers, frankly. It's not going to be easy for anyone involved. My patient and giving mother is opening up her life of blissful, interspective solitude to the masses. I'm giving up my own independence----something I'm extremely reluctanct to do.
So, that's the plan for now. And my kids are elated to be going to live at Grandma's house----a place full of surprise. There are coyotes with dens & pups nearby, deer with twin spotted fawns roaming amongst the sagebrush, a river to swim and fish in, old farm equipment, nearby fields of horses, and a goat farm. I practically grew up in the river there, and seldom is there a childhood memory of mine that doesn't include its gurgling waters full of wonderment.
However idyllic it might sound, there is surely hardship to come for us all. Settling in, and trying to shift into a whole new life----someone else's life, really. Trying to find space for everything and everyone. It's going back in time, taking stock, regrouping.