Thank you for all of your kindness and sharing. My fingers typing away at the keyboard cannot contain the gratitude I feel after receiving your heartfelt words, prayers, and thoughts.
I know I'm not alone in this journey. Like Kate mentioned, it's a sisterhood with many members... unfortunately. And I realize now with Lara's comment that I'm not only grieving my children's loss but my own loss of the idyllic picture of family that I held firm to.
But I also recognize I cannot control others----we all have our own paths in life, our own hurdles to overcome, and our own reasons for making the decisions we do. Sure, it's not fair. Sure there will be many, many days of frustration I'll endure wondering why this had to happen to me. Yes, in my own opinion the decisions my husband made were less than ideal, but it's not something I can control. I know all of this. Like I wrote in that post, I think acceptance and letting go will be my most difficult challenge.
And life goes on... Please do watch the skies tonight for the Lunar Eclipse at approximately 7 PM PST. I've always been fascinated with the moon, dating back to my childhood and watching in awe as a harvest moon lifted up over the trees, immense and so golden just like my childhood stories of the moon made of cheese. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of moonlit nights wandering the local fields in late summer with the smell of fresh cut hay, the sounds of the night, and the full moon so bright that I was accompanied on my outings by my long shadow. So, tonight my kids & I will watch the skies for something bigger and better than our current problems...