The stuff of parents.

I listened to this segment of Talk of the Nation today. I had no idea parenting is such a big business with a tremendous market all its own.

Personally, in terms of stuff, I thought I went a bit overboard when preparing for my son's emergence into this world, but compared to designer diaper bags for both day and evening, and $1,000 strollers, I guess I lived the simple life.

Even so, I would still give my younger self a bit of advice on purchasing parenting supplies---- a good car-seat, a great backpack, a jogger stroller, a bike trailer, and a big futon to throw on the floor would have sufficed for our family. We seldom used our crib, our fluffy stroller, the baby swing... and so much more.

After listening to that NPR segment, I realize how much the marketing of all that baby stuff revolves around targeting the altruistic nature of parents---we want our children to be safe and healthy. We want the best for them... and we worry a lot. New parents, especially, are prime targets for this sort of parenting fear factor marketing. Subliminally (or even more adversely) we hear that if we don't have this or that gadget, this baby class or that educational opportunity, our children will somehow fall behind, be hurt, or suffer some other form of irreparable damage. The fact that some of the most brilliant and creative humans lived hundreds of years ago during times that all this stuff wasn't available, isn't ever brought up. Did da Vinci coo along to Baby Einstein? Or, for that matter, did the real baby Einstein have the proper contrasting colors to occupy his baby brain in his crib?

It's another topic that proves difficult for my brain to comprehend-----this contrast of our modern day "needs" to what babies historically grew up with. I'll be the first to admit some of the new inventions and baby gear help families enjoy their time together more easily (did I mention that baby backpack?) but where do we draw the line----when did the innate pleasures of parenthood become a market?

Comments

[Tara]

It's nice being Army because we have a weight limit when we move. It helps me keep the clutter down a lot! When my daughter was little and before she was born we did go overboard. Who the heck needs boutique burp cloths that cost $10 a pop? Apparently I thought I did and then I was too afraid to use them because they were too nice. All her baby stuff wound up taking up more room in our house than our own stuff did!

[Sarah Jackson]

My theory is similar to yours - that parents buy things to make up for the experience and knowledge that they fear they are lacking. If they have the right tools, then parenting won't be quite so scary and unknown. And then we all learn that the right tools are love, snuggles, consistency, healthy food, a few safe play objects (that aren't necessarily toys), safe transportation, and a safe place to sleep.

Separating needs from wants has become so difficult in the age of marketing. It's tough to sort through it all and trust your instincts.

[merseydotes]

Jim over at Sweet Juniper calls it the Sacagawea theory: http://www.sweet-juniper.com/2008/03/sacajawea-theory-v20.html

One of the things that kept us from going too nuts with the baby stuff (although we had a bouncy seat and an exersaucer that took up a fair bit of space) was having a little house. When you have no attic, little closet space and small rooms, you can't buy all the stuff the baby books recommend. For us, the stroller was all about how small it could fold up because we had to store it in a tiny coat closet with our coats.

[amy]

Yes it's crazy how much stuff people THINK you need for a baby and then you end up with a couple functional things and the rest is not used or you have too many clothes!! The stores of course suck you in and even have a list of things you should have in their opinion. If you are having your first baby you just don't know and so you buy everything or ask for everything not knowing.

[kirsten]

we've never even had a changing table - and when our first was born we didn't even have a dresser for her. we did have some shelves, so we stored her clothes in rubbermaid boxes on the shelves. worked great. even though target makes all the little gadgets look so tempting - i'm glad i knew i didn't need EVERYTHING!

[Anna]

I agree. I feel I went overboard as well. Maybe it's because for every 5 items I got, one was a star and the rest lay in the corner for a majority of the time. But that one star worked so well it overshadowed the growing pile of forgotten "needs". I wouldn't have been happy without our crib, but I truly wouldn't have missed half the other stuff. Our family has moved on from baby gear to toddler and preschooler toys and books but the issue remains - do we really need it all? will anyone use it for more than a week? can we live happily & heathfuly without it? I get sucked in by educational marketing claims - can I control my impulses?

[Randi]

I think it is sad that babies are a "market", but I guess everything is a market these days. I can hardly stand to shop for holidays anymore because the advertisers and retailers have stolen all of the meaning out of everything!

[Amy]

One unfortunate result of advancing technology is that everything has become a market. If there is a need, someone...some group is going to jump on that train and with the help of technology, media feed that frenzy fuel. Maybe there will be a balance one day and people will stop letting the media and others decide what is best for them.

[daisy janie]

I agree wholeheartedly with you. I always reference the Ingalls family and what they managed to live and do without. It's amazing to see the differences in what new parents think they need now as opposed to just 10 years ago when my son was born. Such a short time span, and so many "studies" that led to so many new "essential" product introductions. Corporate brainwashing at its best. What is crazy to me are the products that let parents monitor a childe like "big brother" when the child's sleeping and the products that parents stick them in when the child's awake (bouncy seats, swings) so they don't have to engage the child. Seems a bit weird to go from watching them like a hawk to ignoring them.