Dinner for One...

The bright sun and clear day was a relief after experiencing a fairly bad day yesterday... Too many memories to reevaluate and process, I guess.

Once again, the simplicities in my life brought me around to a more uplifted spirit. Things like spinning wool in the sunshine while watching our little chickens come and go from their delightful chicken coop... Absentmindedly watching swallows dive and dip for bugs---feeling happiness at their return... The smell of the sun warmed wool and watching the colors twist into yarn...  Old shorts pulled out of my summer clothing box and worn comfortably in the warm temperature... New spring sprouts pushing up through the dark soil nearby... 

I ate my dinner on the picnic table in the setting sun. Even though I felt at peace watching the river below the house, I wondered about my kids----felt like more than just my kids were missing. 

I don't know how I am about being alone---I haven't decided. Some people relish in their solitude. I crave more alone time than most, but I also miss my friends and a feeling of connection.... I'm just musing because I know it'll come----the pieces slowly finding a place to settle in my new life.

Comments

[Lara]

I know how you feel. You will get use to it. I remember those times being so difficult though - very depressing. It does get easier and you will get use to it. It isn't just your kids that are missing - it is all the wonderful things that are created when they are around that is missing. You make such good use of your time and are so introspective - that is such a great thing and it will get you through it. Hang in there!

[Carrie]

Being outside, absorbed in the task at hand seems like a good place to start rebuilding.

You seem to have filled your home with beauty and life--I hope it continues to nurture you!

[tiennie]

I think you'll find enjoyment in it. You do need that bit of solitude to reinvigorate you. Sounds like a lovely time in the sun!

[Kristin]

Okay, now I really want to know what kind of wheel you have. It looks really beautiful in that photo with your tootsies. I'm trying to narrow my selection down.

[AJ]

I think I know how you feel. I often want some me time. Not being a mom. Not being a wife. Just a break from reality. But when I do get that solitary time I find myself missing my husband and kids. You just have to find the right balance. Everything else will eventually fall into place.

[Sarah Jackson]

Over time, you'll learn to appreciate the alone time - take it as an opportunity to recharge and be all the more ready for them when they return. Today looks like a lovely day, my dear.

[Jeanne]

Found you through whip up a few days ago and just wanted to say that your blog is lovely and I've added it to my blogroll!

[tamara]

what a beautiful post.
I'm sitting in a classroom full of kids going wild, wishing for a moment to myself. Funny how we want what we can't have, then when we have it... wish for something else. I'd do just about anything for a sip of that wine right about now. :)

[Beth]

The times without the kids are definitely the hardest but, from experience, they will be ok if you are ok--they will like that you are busy and engaged in something you enjoy while they are gone. It takes some getting used to, though.