Here in the states, it's Memorial Day. For many, it's a three day weekend that heralds in the summer tourist season.
For my family, it's a day of one tradition: taking flowers out to the cemetery where four generations of my family are buried. I haven't always been available to participate in this tradition, as for over 15 years I lived elsewhere. And to be honest, I didn't give the day much thought. I didn't spend much time on Memorial Day thinking of my loved ones. I experience moments throughout my life that remind me-----a certain object reminding me of them, something in my life that provides a laugh and remembrance of my Grandfather's stories, or my daughter appearing from her room in one of my Grandmother's handmade square dance dresses. My loved ones are all part of my life in one way or another.
But I still believe in a day set aside to remember them-----to honor and pass on stories. As we placed the fresh-cut flowers on the graves of my extended family, my kids asked questions: "How am I related to her?... What was she like?... Why is there a balloon on his grave?" My Mom carefully answered their questions and remembered her relatives, too. It seemed astounding to contemplate: "He was your Great, Great, Great, Great Grandpa." Wow, my kids were impressed---he must have been really great!
And little tidbits of information were linked together: "She lived in the house up the street---the house across from the horses you like to visit..." Even I glean more information from each trip to the cemetery----learning more about my relatives or remembering something I already forgot.
I also wondered if I live in the first generation discontinuing the traditions of Memorial Day. As we arranged our flowers at the cemetery, I noted the flowers already placed there from my extended family-----like checking off family member's names. My Aunt had not been there yet----she was coming out later. She would probably smile at our flowers there, notice those pretty pink ones that grow wild along the river below our house. I looked around and there were many other visitors carefully placing flowers on graves, but I also noticed the ages of the participants----I didn't see anyone my age.
Possibly our mobile society is one of the main reasons for my generation's changing Memorial Day traditions. Seldom do we continue to live in our hometowns. I thought about this after making a flippant remark at dinner one night regarding living in my hometown and my aversion of it. The statement settled in my gut like a foreign object. When I studied it I realized I didn't mean it-----what I meant was how difficult it is to face my past in light of my current situation. And I also thought about how strange life is------how life has an uncanny way of forcing you to deal with your past if you do not do it voluntarily. I turned my back on my hometown when I left it after high school----didn't stay in touch with friends and focused on my present life all too much.
Setting those flowers out there at the cemetery brought up so many thoughts----not only about Memorial Day as a holiday, but my own life, my own generation, and my part in it, too. What will Memorial Day mean in our future? For my kids? Will it be a day for primarily honoring our veterans (important, too)? Will our current gas crisis force us to remain at home, not to move around so much? I doubt it, so many of us feel that pioneering spirit----seeking something, somewhere... In the end, I'm happy that I live here now and can participate in this tradition. That my kids can participate in it, too. At least for now.