I guess I'm in another phase of discovery. I'm finding my own way, in my own house, in my own life, and trying to determine what this new life is and who I am within it. My days are spent completing chores and obligations but it's all underneath a multi-colored veil of rediscovery and reevaluation.
Outside of my inner work---- out there in the real world---- I'm making new discoveries, too.
Like how much I enjoy music---my music. Bands and genres that my ex turned his nose up at. I guess I also felt that music was his thing because he always seemed to enjoy it more than I did. Perhaps it was the kind of music he was listening to----not always my thing.
For instance, I'm probably the last person alive to really "discover" the band, Coldplay. Oh yes, I heard their music before, but only for the briefest moment before the song was skipped by my ex (or some other guy in the room). I've heard their criticisms (they're "mainstream" and "overplayed") but I enjoy their music (plus I love it that they sew). I could have pursued their music---any music----but I didn't. But my typical musical likes are 'The Wailin' Jennys', 'Po Girl', and Be Good Tanyas. I've only recently found Kimya Dawson. And I'm also still musing over extending my musical abilities myself (harp?)...
So what's the big deal? Why talk about rock bands and music? Well, it's indicative of the changes within me. I'm slowly discovering myself again after having spent much of my life identifying myself as my husband's wife. And this self-discovery stuff takes up a lot of my time right now----time that I used to spend sewing and crafting. Preoccupied and distracted. I know my creativity will come again, but for right now, I'm allowing myself this time to discover and be present with who I am.