Berlin's Whimsy

Days.

Do you sum up your year at the New Year? For me, New Year's never felt like the beginning of a new year but rather a logical ticking off of the Gregorian Calendar's arithmetic. For much of my life, my schedule has revolved around the school calendar, therefore I experience the passing of a year at the end of the school year and the ringing in of a new year along with the school bell in September. Nonetheless, I play along with the New Year's festivities and celebrate the holiday; I reflect on the year and look forward to the new number and the year ahead.

2007 couldn't end soon enough for me with the tragic events that took place within its days. When I look back on 2008, it holds the extremes: worry, sadness, closure, but also new possibilities, love, and hope. And when I look forward to 2009, my hope is that these extremes level out, that they meet somewhere in the middle with both understanding and acceptance. It's a lot for one number to hold within its parts but something to strive for, even so.

Happy New Year to you all! May you enjoy bellies full of good, healthy food, laughter of the sort that children readily supply, and days full wisdom and grattitude... 

(**I'm on a new Typepad blog platform and my hope is that it will allow me to reply to your comments more easily)...

Listening to Rain.

I occasionally woke up to rain falling; falling on a new house in a new situation. The sound of rain at night is soothing for me, even when it was a constant while living on the Oregon Coast. Devices are made to create "white noise"----replicating the nighttime sounds of rain---- but the real thing is so much better.

I spent most of last year determining what was real and what wasn't real in my life. Much of what I thought was real (marriage, fidelity, truth) wasn't. But in between the cracks of the obvious were more subtle bits of reality----that life offers up opportunity if we're open to it and willing to learn from, and then let go of, the past.  

And so, eventually, I was open to a new relationship when I met someone kind and willing to be patient with me and what I have gone through----my kids, too. Someone real. I now live with him in a wonderful house with lots of potential for family memories and love. As with any change, there are trials and transitional phases and they are expected--- the real work. But in the end, I believe we will all find our places and each of our lives will be fuller from this opportunity.  

Until then, I'll listen to the rain and its fleeting presence in this part of the world---a reminder of nature's ability to sooth.    

Changes.

Changes of note are waiting to be shared but not until after the holidays... Thank you for your patience! More to come this week.

Outside in.

Outside, the snow fell all day. Not the weightless snow of the day before but the heavier snow my son calls, "packing snow." He spent his time in the packing snow shoveling our walk and driveway. It was no small task given the depth of the day's accumulation. My daughter spent the time packing her section of snow into the shape of an angle while snow pushed down her back and up into her hat. 

I went outside to photograph them and watch the progress. Soon, we were all shivering. We turned toward the house to find the above view of our tree, reflecting the warmth of the interior of our house through the window. Calling us back in. But alas, I accidentally locked all of us out! My son and I waited next to the window, quietly watching the Christmas tree lights while silently hoping our back door was left unlocked. My daughter went around back to check. Thankfully, she soon opened the door for us and we were returned to the warmth and comfort of our little house. 

Still.

Only recently have I enjoyed some still moments in my life. It seems a contradiction to find quiet during the holiday season yet some of the more traditional holiday crafts lend themselves to quiet moments. Needles and thread. Yarn and sticks. Baking. Simple traditional crafts...

We often make a simple version of pomanders this time of year. They require nothing more than supplies and patience yet they provide the kind of smell that bolsters holiday cheer. While making them, we are enveloped in the warm spicy smell of oranges and cloves along with a sense of busying ourselves for the holidays. There are many traditions and lore surrounding pomanders but for us they are merely another quiet holiday project to sit around the kitchen table with during a cold winter night.

Holiday progress.

I set up a makeshift sewing corner in my son's room (just what he always wanted, I'm sure!) and I'm working my way through holiday sewing projects.

This was the latest to come off the table...

...and a reminder to myself of how much I enjoy embroidery/sewing projects.

December weekend.

The snow finally drifted upon us this weekend. The accumulation wasn't much, but it was enough to remind us that it is truly December. It was enough for children to escape the confines of their interiors to go out into the flaky December night to play in the first snow. Sisters were hit with snowballs and brothers were ganged up on by sisters and their friends. Laughter was hushed only slightly by the gentle snow. 

 

The next morning spent in butter and sugar heaven:

Monkey Bread. Again.

 

And the previous night's snow clouds gave way to sunlight again. Alas.

 

Evenings were spent enjoying the soft light from our Christmas tree. 

Warming up.

Before tackling my holiday sewing projects, I decided to get some utilitarian sewing out of the way in an attempt to get back into my sewing groove. You see, I was a little afraid my non-sewing brain wouldn't easily transition into processing detailed sewing instructions, accurate fabric cutting (math---eeeek!), and creativity... Therefore, I decided to make some quick little projects to warm up.

 

We usually use cloth napkins around here but I don't relish washing and folding them repeatedly. It's inevitable that our napkins get mixed up and I wind up tossing them into the dirty clothes before needed. 

These simple holders are my attempt at identification and reducing my laundry-----not only that, but they are very quick to make and use up fabric scraps (yippee)!  

More about cloth napkins...

Red Ribbons

Every so often, my childrens' own adventures conjure up memories of my childhood. Yesterday, my daughter came skipping out of school with new red ribbons in her hair. She was such a sight with her hair band, red ribbons, and that red coat of hers.

I asked her about the origins of those red ribbons and she described her friend combing out her hair and tying those red ribbons into it. Immediately, memories of my own ten-year old self came rushing back-----the touch of girlhood friends combing and styling my hair and the laughter of pre-teen girls... Ah, childhood.

As I asked my daughter about the ribbons and her dance class with her friends, she held a secretive smile-----not a suspicious smile but rather the kind of smile that young girls wear when thinking about their near and dear friends and their own lives at school and beyond----apart from parents... It's that transitional stage between home and independence. It began long ago but the speed seems to be accelerating...

From 2008

As an addendum to yesterday's post about all those loose ends to contend with from my divorce, I must say I'd rather unravel a knot of complication than to be stuck in a situation that inhibits my growth and happiness. That is to say, I am so much happier with my life now. There really is happiness after divorce.

As this year draws closer to the next, I find that I have so much to be thankful for: a relationship that fills me with joy, love, and possibility; my children's recaptured happiness through new people in their lives, an excellent school, and probably witnessing their parents happy again; my education. My life feels full of possibility and it's just another reminder of embracing change and all of its potential for we must often pass through difficult times to really appreciate the good.