Berlin's Whimsy

Honoring Mothers.

Some friends call it a "Hallmark Holiday." (You know who you are)!

So, what is Mother's Day really about? Is it a manufactured day to make up for all the other days we take Mothers for granted? I agree with the argument that we should honor our Mothers every day of the year, not just on a day designated by the calendar--that would be ideal----but we don't always do that. Life happens and the days slip away. I think a day set aside to embrace our Mothers is wonderful.

I'd also like to include the role of Mother, as well. Mother's Day also makes me think about all the Mothers that have been in my life that might not have been Mothers in the true sense of the word. My Great Aunt comes to mind---a woman who never had children of her own but raised oh so many nieces and nephews.

I think of my own wonderful Mom and all the people she has Mothered through the years besides my brother and I, including my "adopted" brother and even my husband. My Step-Mother plays a role of Mother for me. I also think about my neighbor who passed away last fall and how she used to fulfill the role of Mother/Grandmother in my life.

Moms are universal. They cross boundaries of blood kin and legal adoption. They hide out in the roles of Grandmother and our friends' Moms---even wives. They might be your special Auntie or older cousin. Mothers can be anyone and I think that's what Mother's Day is about----honoring the role of Mother, nurturing the nurturer, because they don't always ask for it. This weekend I'll be honoring all the Moms in my life...Happy Mother's Day!

The Power of Music.

It started with the above video. I played it for my kids and the video made an impact, but for my son the music played to his soul.

Both of my children were taking piano lessons before we moved. I have yet to find a teacher here (mostly because of finances) but my children still want to continue on with them. It's a goal of mine to find a teacher for them soon (local readers---do you have a recommendation?).

We have a beautiful baby grand piano given to us by my children's Grandmother who received it as a graduation present over 60 years ago. She cherished her piano for oh so many years---squishing it into corners of large houses and single-wide trailers as her life transitioned through the years. Grown adults remember sleeping under the piano as children at family gatherings and it always took a front seat to each life event. She was a concert pianist and we are so grateful to now enjoy her piano-----the legacy of music passing on through the generations.

My son loves the tune that accompanies that Youtube video---Mad World. And yet another reason to praise the internet for its positive scope: sheet music on command! A click of a button produced the black and white script that magically holds the code to so much beauty.

My son is currently trying to master the song on his own. I love the tune, too, so the many attempts at catching just the right tempo, just the right notes, are such a lovely background to our lives...

Priceless.

The fundraising adventure all went very well. My children were "servers" and they looked resplendent in their black & white clothes (thank goodness for the sale rack at Target) and little white waiter's aprons. They even served water from a large glass water pitcher with one hand formally placed behind their backs. Amazing.

It's what I love about my children's school: they believe in children. Many teachers & schools do and it's one of the things I look for. Kids are amazing and I believe in the old cliche of children living up or down to your expectations.

I helped with setting up auction items and a portion of the items were created by the students themselves.

Frankly, I was amazed at the artwork represented by the students. One student's B & W photos, especially, were very impressive. I wish I could have photographed the artwork but the lighting was so bad my representation wouldn't have done them justice. Alas, you'll have to settle for another one of my own photos.

And the best part? My own children recognized the talent and beauty of the students' work.

Their school is blended in ages and I have always loved that educational style. It allows for mentoring of younger children by olders and aspirations by the youngers of the olders.

Both of my kids pointed out various paintings and tile mosaics on auction by the students and it was with a tone of pride and respect. I also had to laugh when I noticed the "value" of the students' auction items, written in by the students themselves: "priceless." Yes, perhaps so.

The stuff of parents.

I listened to this segment of Talk of the Nation today. I had no idea parenting is such a big business with a tremendous market all its own.

Personally, in terms of stuff, I thought I went a bit overboard when preparing for my son's emergence into this world, but compared to designer diaper bags for both day and evening, and $1,000 strollers, I guess I lived the simple life.

Even so, I would still give my younger self a bit of advice on purchasing parenting supplies---- a good car-seat, a great backpack, a jogger stroller, a bike trailer, and a big futon to throw on the floor would have sufficed for our family. We seldom used our crib, our fluffy stroller, the baby swing... and so much more.

After listening to that NPR segment, I realize how much the marketing of all that baby stuff revolves around targeting the altruistic nature of parents---we want our children to be safe and healthy. We want the best for them... and we worry a lot. New parents, especially, are prime targets for this sort of parenting fear factor marketing. Subliminally (or even more adversely) we hear that if we don't have this or that gadget, this baby class or that educational opportunity, our children will somehow fall behind, be hurt, or suffer some other form of irreparable damage. The fact that some of the most brilliant and creative humans lived hundreds of years ago during times that all this stuff wasn't available, isn't ever brought up. Did da Vinci coo along to Baby Einstein? Or, for that matter, did the real baby Einstein have the proper contrasting colors to occupy his baby brain in his crib?

It's another topic that proves difficult for my brain to comprehend-----this contrast of our modern day "needs" to what babies historically grew up with. I'll be the first to admit some of the new inventions and baby gear help families enjoy their time together more easily (did I mention that baby backpack?) but where do we draw the line----when did the innate pleasures of parenthood become a market?

About Best Friends.

I found this note sitting on the table. Apparently, out of the blue, my daughter wrote it. I have always believed she's perceptive in the ways of human interaction but I still was a bit surprised to see this description of friends written out so succinctly. Perhaps I should carry a copy in my purse to show to any perspective suitors in my future, for it is very relevant for both friends and partners.

Decisions.

A Preface... She slowly wades into the murky water, crocodiles at the ready, leeches waiting patiently, a hoot owl overhead hooting menacingly (yeah, a bit melodramatic, huh?). She knows these murky waters are dangerous, ripe with opinion and emotion... She has her own goggles of experience but they only fit her. Each swimmer in these waters of life wear their own goggles----some more protective than others....

**I had a conversation with my Mom the other day about women. About women and careers and would-be careers and stay-at-home moms and moms who've been abandoned by their husbands and women who put it all on hold to raise their children. You know, those murky waters of decision women swim through in their lifetimes.

I won't kid anyone into thinking I was the career-girl type, even as a young woman. No, I'm the one that spent a couple New Year's Eves in my early 20s doing cross stitch in front of the TV while my friends hit all the local boozer parties. I'm the one that was dumped by a boyfriend in high school because I was "too boring." That's me, boring. I wear it like a well-fitting glove.

Anyhow, I went to the university when I was younger. I was interested in so many topics and switched majors like it was some sort of fashion statement. They all seemed great, so interesting! But, I also never aspired to be a suit-wearing professional. I always wanted kids. I love all things domestic, and I still do. But, I could have went the professional route. It wasn't beyond my intellectual capacity, it just wasn't where my heart was.

I married young and my husband embarked on a career that led us to lots of relocations and scenic spots----it also included a commitment by both of us to put his career aspirations first. I happily followed him on his adventures, writing up his application packets and assisting him along his career path. It's really rather sickening and dreadful now.

When I had my son at the age of 28, I was working at a small software company in the small town we lived in. My husband & I agreed that one of us would stay home to raise our kids. It was obvious I would be the parent----something I never, ever regret.

I stayed home exclusively with both of my kids for a total of five years. After those five years, I worked in virtually a volunteer role at my kid's private and parent-run school for five years. After that stint, came more part-time positions but nothing that would 'advance my professional career.' We still lived in a very small town that lacked professional opportunities for advancement.

And then the sky fell. The details are all within this blog but basically we lost it all----my husband's career, our housing, our marriage, our life as we knew it...

Now, as I look for work to support not only myself but my kids, too, I wonder at the choices I made. No, I don't regret staying home with my kids, but I do wonder where I'd be right now if I had not chosen the path of homemaker and wife. I wonder if it is feasible for a parent to remove themselves from the workforce in this competitive day and age------whether it is a Dad or a Mom? Is it wise? I always error on the side of family and nurturing over making a buck----always------but I also don't wish this sort of stress on any other Moms out there. What could I have done differently?

I know this is a topic without any clear answer but it does beg contemplation in this current economical and social age. I also hear from other Moms trying to make their marriages work in the face of difficulties and they wonder how they could support themselves if their marriage fails.

What do you think? Should parents choose to stay at home with their children if it risks future career possibilities?

And I must add my own bit of observation here... Though I didn't continue advancing my career during those years of staying home with my kids, I still worked part-time here and there and also volunteered quite a bit (starting a parent/child resource center, working at a private school, artisan baker, in the public schools here and there). Even though I'm facing a difficult time finding a professional position to financially sustain my children & I, I'm still employable and I have experience.

I guess I hope that those of you reading this post make an effort to stay on top of things---beyond your children--- so that you can take care of yourself if the need arises (which I truly hope doesn't).

No, I don't believe many husbands will take off with a younger woman when they hit 40, but I also know things happen in life---unexpected things---- and we all must be prepared, at least in the most basic level...

Contact the press!

My son knitted his way through one whole ball of yarn!! He has eight inches of garter stitched goodness to his credit so far. As we drive to and from school with a book on CD propelling us along, I now expect to see him knitting in the backseat, a look of peace and contentment on his face. It truly warms my heart. Of course, it does have its drawbacks, such as his forgetting his lunch today because of his focus on bringing his knitting along.

More things warming my heart...

**This segment of Speaking of Faith. In a time of my life where I could easily slip into bitterness and anger over unfair events, listening to these two compelling advocates of peace speak of turning their own sadness and anger into compassion and understanding is heartening for me.

Cupid's Arrow Missed.

We aren't celebrating our typical Valentine's Day this year. Usually, most of our Valentines celebrations centered around school activities and making far too many handmade Valentines Cards than we were prepared for. Without fail, I was up late the night before Valentine's either calling frantically for my kids to finish "one last card" or resigning myself to forge their names and plow through the whole stack of cards myself. The actual day usually unfolded with me at some sort of classroom party, herding sugar-filled twitching children with frosting on their fingers while catching the harried teacher's eye from time to time to determine whether she would actually survive the ordeal. The day was always full of activities usually ending with my children sacked out in their beds with torn open Valentine's Cards spread around them. 

This year is different, however. My children's school does not celebrate Valentine's Day. Instead, they celebrate Friendship Day. The school politely asked parents not to send Valentines cards unless children are prepared to bring cards to all 200 students. Needless to say, I declined. And frankly, I'm a bit relieved.

Though, I have fond memories of all the card-making and parties with my kids, I also have a bit of cynicism with regards to Valentines Day. You have probably heard the cynical spiel: it's a Hallmark holiday; one day of professing your love doesn't cut it; the oneupmanship that the holiday inspires in people...

For my kids, I don't relish the thought of them passing around or receiving words of romantic love at their age (and at their ages now, cards are not always full of the innocence they once were). In addition, commercially made children's cards are full of sappy professions of love and advertisements for brands.

So, in light of all that, I'm happy my kids are celebrating friendships. I will strap on ice skates and herd children around an icy rink and meet some of my children's new friends. My kind of day!

Simple but rich.

I read this post on the blog, Gipsy Life, with much interest. Not only because I love learning about lifestyles in other countries, but because her mother was in a situation similar to my own.

I recognize many changes within myself lately. What I once perceived as "needs" no longer are. I find my life becoming more centralized around my family and providing a life that is rich in learning and culture without a lot of finances.

In addition, where once I believed that I wanted a standard middle class house, I now would prefer a simple, clean, flat where my kids & I could walk to their school, the park, the market, and the library. Where once I was quite focused on owning my own house, I now am very wary of being indebted to one---not only financially but physically with the upkeep, too. Instead, I want opportunities: vast libraries, culture, good schools, museums, natural beauty, and people that appreciate and encourage this style of life. 

Another portion of Kerstin's post struck me, as well: she describes her whole family living in one apartment and making do with the small space. This situation is not unusual. When some of my family visited parts of Europe, they described similar living arrangements. In one of the books I am reading now about Japanese food, the author describes her mother's apartment size as 10 x12 ft. That's a bit drastic for me (I do want a kitchen!), but it puts things in a different perspective. What we believe we need in this country differs from many other cultures.

I believe the key to this style of simple but rich living is that one lives life outside more---not outside as in nature (though that's a large part of it for me), but outside in their community, as well.

Of course, this is easier if one lives in an area that provides "intellectually stimulating" opportunities (as Kerstin describes in her post). I am fortunate because I live in an area that offers many of these opportunities: outdoor fairs and festivals, a variety of afterschool activities, good schools, plays, artists, outdoor recreation, a college, and an excellent library system (yay!). It also provides these opportunities for those that might not be able to afford them, as with this program called "Girls Go Outside" and many others like it.

It wasn't always like this---when I was growing up here, it lacked much of the cultural opportunities that is does now. However, I grew up appreciating the beauty of nature and relishing a trip to the library. Things I still enjoy today.

Flickety Click.

Some of my favorite knitting bloggers tagged me for the 'You Make My Day Award.' How very sweet and thank you so much.

I only recently discovered Mary Jane's blog: Mary Jane, Midge & Mink. In addition to my late discovery of Mary Jane's blog, I experienced another "duh moment" when I realized one day, while fondly gazing at one of my favorite sweater patterns from Interweave Knits, that the pattern designer was Mary Jane! Hopefully, this slip in recognition isn't any indication of my mind growing slower as I age... Part of the reason I had not recognized Mary Jane as a knitwear designer is because of my adoration of her beautiful photos, thus my ignorance of her knitting expertise.

My other nomination came from Lara at Yarnit. She is back in college right now and in much of the same situation as I am at the moment. I appreciate her sharing her own journey to self-discovery and self-fulfillment during a huge transition in her life. I know how difficult it can be to weigh out all the obligations.

And lastly, Christabel of Rhubarb Supreme nominated me, too. I must admit her blog is new to me, but I enjoyed my visit today!

For nominations, the rules are as follows:
"Give the award to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel happy about blogland. Let them know by posting a comment on their blog so they can pass it on. Beware you may get the award several times."

Like Mary Jane mentioned, it is difficult to choose only 10 other bloggers (and as you'll see, I didn't---yes, I cheated). Truly each blog I read makes my day. I read many, many blogs but not all of them everyday. So here is my attempt to whittle them down to the ones I read every day (or at least when they update).

1. Knitting Iris----I don't ever miss Siri's blog.
2. Beauty that Moves  Lots to love here.
3. Bella Dia--Check out her re-purposing series.
4. Blue Yonder A must!
5. Dustpan Alley Always good for serious thought or laughs.
6. House on Hill Road Wonderful project ideas.
7. A Friend to Knit With Lovely knitting and parenting.
8. I Have to Say... The kind of peaceful parenting & living I admire.
9. Kirstencan A fellow nerd... ;-) And crafty mom.
10. Uncommon Grace Beautiful and mindful parenting.

***I didn't nominate Megan at The Scent of Water (because Mary Jane did---but I love Megan's blog, and I didn't nominate Mary Jane's blog for obvious reasons, though it would be on my list)!

****Also, might I add a few blogs that are new to me? Please do check them out:

1. Ysolda (She is a young knitwear designer. Not only do I LOVE her designs, but her instructions are very helpful and she continues to update them through user feedback. I found her You-tube instructional video on the Long-tail Provisional Cast-on very helpful).
2. Still Life in Yarn A new friend.
3. The Scent of Green Bananas (yum).
4. Linaloo Another new friend.
5. Lunch in a Box (Need I mention again how helpful Biggie's site is?)

Oh, and then there are my favorite Flickr friends that don't have blogs...

1. Ex. Libris' ---A fellow Mr. Bento lover, I follow her food, gardening, and life adventures through Flickr. I'm also VERY jealous because she's a librarian ;-)!
2. Cauchy---Wonderful knitting and a wry sense of humor.
3. Camilla1967-----Catch-your-breath photos (check out those horse images) and a fellow fiber addict.
4. Clouded Maple---Another Laptop Lunchbox junkie and photographer.
5. Pocket Farmer----Knitting, Maine, farming, recipes, and a sense of humor.

Phew, my right clicking finger is tired now...