I recently completed a "seminar for divorcing parents" which is court mandated. I attended the class with a lot of trepidation for a number of reasons: the thought of sitting for four hours in a room with other parents going through divorce; still feeling forced into this situation; listening to information that I'd prefer not to hear, etc. The logical side of me--- the side that has worked with children and read numerous parenting books---- knows this seminar is a good thing but the emotional side of me would rather have stayed home.
The class was conducted by two very qualified instructors and the information they taught was useful, albeit difficult to swallow. Lots of negative divorce statistics were tossed around. Soon, I found myself in the odd position of observing my own reactions to the class, as if in third person. I noticed that I grew impatient as one of the facilitators discussed what we divorcing parents "should be doing" (the perfect divorce?). She described the information and advice with an ironic smile on her face and I felt weary.
One of the strangest pieces of advice given during the seminar was to avoid making any large decisions during the whole process. Huh? I suppose there could be divorces without the need for decisions but I doubt that's a common situation.
I ponder that advice as I now contemplate a few large decisions in my life. One of which is a move. I mentioned before that I'm preparing to move into my own house with my kids (for those of you new to my situation, I have been living with my mom since losing our house last summer). As is the case lately, it's a decision loaded with complicated factors and unknowns. Do I rent the house nearby----the one in the country, with the wonderful yard amidst fields of sheep, and only one mile away where my kids can still swim in the river and visit their Grandma and our chickens daily? It would still require a 30-minute commute to their school and my possible job and we wouldn't be close to many neighborhood kids... Or, do I move into the suburbs within a neighborhood of other children with the potential for neighbor friends and closer to my children's school & my possible work location?
Nah, I don't have any large decisions to make during the coarse of my divorce...
